I saw someone tonight I haven’t seen in years. We met through our children years ago and I’ve always enjoyed talking with her. She’s been an encouragement to me as a writer and would let me know that my blog posts seemed to be on target in her life.
It sort of made me sad. To hear her say that. Because, I’ve not been blogging. And trust me, it’s not because I haven’t had anything to say. It’s because sometimes the things I feel led to share don’t come in neat little packages with bows and ribbons.
They are messy.
Rough around the edges.
Not shrouded in Christianese.
The things I chew on during the day and often way too late at night, don’t always have happy endings. They are not perfectly healed. Some things still have sutures and stuff oozing from them. I feel like I tip toe between what’s okay to say and what I really want to say.
This creates a wicked struggle in my head and heart. I know most of y’all don’t have it all together. Neither do I. I struggle. I fight every day to keep my head above water. But, I know more than I’ve ever known that healthy is not fragmented. Healthy is whole. There is no line between secular and sacred. It is ALL sacred. Even the messy.
I’ve determined that I need to share more of the messy, controversial, rough, and real things I kick around like a soccer ball in my head. I’ve held back for all the wrong reasons. The main one being offending someone.
Well, guess what? Not everyone is going to like me. And, I’m finally okay with that truth.
I know there’s a Light that shines deep within me that emanates from the Holiest of Holies. I only have to answer to the Source of that Light, my Father, and I know I am highly esteemed and have the assurance that I am His and He is mine. Nothing could ever separate me from His love.
I pray I love first and give grace abundantly. I pray no selfish ambition is ever used for my gain. May the Light of Christ shine bright as I open the door…